Loss is LOSS, any loss...not just death! Loss of a relationship, loss of a job, loss of what could have been, loss of a plan.
Goals appropriate to grief counseling: -to manage grief effectively -to develop and use skills for handling this grief -to practice self-care during grieving -to adapt to the ebb and flow of life -to reorganize my life around the loss in a way that allow me to continue to invest in life -to incorporate losses into my life and reinvest in life-affirming ways -to develop a continuing bond with my (deceased) daughter that is healthy and functional -to effectively manage the anger (anxiety, loneliness) involved in this grief -to mourn while continuing to parent successfully
-How will you know when you have sufficiently integrated this grief? -How will you know that you are managing your grief effectively? -What evidence will exist that reveals you are handling the grief in a meaningful and helpful way? -What will be different about you when you have resolved these losses in a way that allows you to reinvest in a satisfying life?
How would you know when you are handling this grief well?
What would your friends say they see you doing when you are coping better with the breakup?
On a scale of 1-10 where number 10 represents you are managing this grief exceptionally well and the number 1 represents the worst it has been, where would you put yourself today?
If we had a magic wand and could make this problem disappear, what would you be doing (thinking, feeling) differently?
Suppose it is just a year from now and you look back on losing this job and you find yourself thinking, "Well, I wish it had not happened or had not happened the way that it did, but I'll manage to turn things around." What would you have done to turn things around?
What advice would your mother/father give you in this situation?
What would your family or friends tell you to do in this situation?
What have you seen other people do to manage their anger in similiar situations?
Movies portraying Loss and Grief Some bereaving clients find comfort in Cinematherapy. The following films are some recommendations because they offer material especially useful in counseling for loss and grief. If interested in more suggestions, please inquire at LFTaibi@gmail.com -The Five People you Meet in Heaven (Kramer, 2004) - meaning of life -Catch and Release (Grant, 2007) - grieving differences -Antwone Fisher (Washington, 2002) - multiple losses foster care -Iris (R. Eyre, 2001) - Alzheimer's disease losses -A Beginner’s Guide to the End by BJ Miller, MD and Shoshona Berger