Confidence is Key

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5/17/2022 0 Comments

Confidence is Key

To the Hive,
I am having a hard time speaking to people in general. I usually get stuck on words and have noticed in some of my work meetings a causal friend hangouts that I don't hold people's attention well. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
- Mr. Unpopular

To Mr. Unpopular,
You are not unpopular, although it sounds like you may just have a hard time public speaking. There are several techniques to hold an audience's attention, whether that be at your work or with your friends. You might look to some resources such as Susan RoAne's How to Work a Room: The Ultimate Guide to Savvy Socializing in Person and Online or How to Talk to Anyone About Anything: Improve Your Social Skills, Master Small Talk, Connect Effortlessly, and Make Real Friends by James W. Williams.
Be Well, The Hive

0 Comments

To the Hive, I'm feeling pretty down because after getting out of recently toxic work environment (4 years) with a narcissistic boss, and there she fired me (I suspect for lack of $ to pay me) even though she had always praised my work and said she planned to leave the company in my hands. Now, I just lost my next job after 3 weeks, although the new job was not as expected and honestly not a good environment either. Before all this, my most recent full time gig (3 years) was another toxic environment with high turnover.
Now, I feel unmotivated to apply for another job and feel like a failure even though honestly looking at the things I went through, I was really a survivor. I have been so unhappy at work for so long and it is making me think ill never be able to work again in a healthy environment.
At the same time these jobs paid so low that I've needed a second and third job to make ends meet and my part time gigs I've actually really enjoyed and they did not seem toxic. So that I try to think of that to keep up hope that it isn't me, but I still struggle.
What would you suggest I do to get motivated after so long in jobs that treat me badly including harassment and ultimately ended in failure?

Dear Failed Employee, Thank you for asking the hive! The first thing that comes to mind is career counseling. Often times in counseling, clients express concerns about problems at work or making a career choice. Along with that comes a process to adjusting to work environments, job loss, toxic work environments. This type of counseling utilizes cognitive and behavioral approaches to career development and exploration. Through career counseling you are able to identify, or gain insight, into issues that might have been previously neglected or dismissed. This awareness can lead to one of the most common goals of career counseling; adjustment or selection of occupation. There are different occupational traits and characteristics that deserve attention by matching personality and interest traits to qualifications required by jobs. Perhaps an encouraging reminder that this is just one part of your identity. This one role does not define your worth or value.

Attached article for further support. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bully-wise/202203/work-shouldnt-hurt-the-cycle-of-toxic-work-cultures?amp=

Be Well,
The Hive

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