Jealousy and attraction

To the Hive,
Dear Hive, I'm very jealous of other women around my husband. He hasn't really given me reason to distrust him but the insecurities are coming from within. It's hard for me to believe that bad things won't happen to me and I fear that he woukd be attracted to one of these women one day and that it would be very painful for me to realise this. I notice when he shows even the slighest interest in another female. I tend to interpret it as attraction on his part. And I also feel other women are out to spoil our marriage. These negative feelings are very strong and sometimes I feel hopeless and regretful for displaying jealous behavior. Can I ever change and how?

Dear Jenny Thank you for asking the hive!
Your insight of where the emotion of jealousy is rooted can be helpful. As you described, “the insecurity is coming from within”. As with all emotions, they can serve a purpose. Perhaps consider the timeline of this emotion. When did this start? How does this emotion compare to others in other relationships? Perhaps further consider what attraction means to you. How can we think about the word attraction, how can we better understand this human response? You are not wrong for feeling jealous, again, it is an emotion. However, if the feeling becomes greater than you are willing to manage, it might be readiness for change. You do not need to change, but you have the awareness to change the way you think about the topics of “jealousy” and “attraction”.
The area you describe as “one day” sounds similar to anticipatory anxiety. Fears of “what if” can increase anxious symptoms. With a readiness for change, we might be open to practicing the “here and now”.
Again, thank you for sharing your heart and adding to an engaging dialogue about mental health. Please visit BeWellCaldwell.com for more psychoeducation.

Be Well,

The Hive


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